


If you were an ocean, I'd learn to float

by Deathgripsfan420



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cis otacon, Hal is self conscious and anxious, I suppose?, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Nothing explicit, Trans Male Character, Trans Solid Snake, Valentine's Day, dave has trauma, esp after almost drowning, post tanker incident pre big shell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29258352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathgripsfan420/pseuds/Deathgripsfan420
Summary: “ They had been dating for a while now, and hadn’t had an actual Valentine’s Day since they were living in Snake’s cabin in Alaska. Somewhere deep down inside him felt like he should try this year, especially after what he had led Snake into a couple months ago”
Relationships: Otacon/Solid Snake
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	If you were an ocean, I'd learn to float

**Author's Note:**

> Title barely even related to this fic it’s just a lyric from a song I’ve been listening to a lot.
> 
> If you're rereading this just know I cut out a huge chunk of it because I couldn't stand how cringy it was

Snake was out, not on a mission, but at the gas station getting cigarettes, as well as some other things. Hal sat legs crossed on the armchair in their hotel room. The pain in his lower back made him wonder how long he had been working for. He looked down at the date and time square on the corner of his laptop screen. Surprisingly it was only 12:03, well, maybe it wasn’t _that_ surprising. Snake didn’t go to the gas station past 12 when they weren’t on the road unless out of necessity. His eyes moved to the date, 2/14/08, February 14th, Valentine’s Day. 

They had been dating for a while now, and hadn’t had an actual Valentine’s Day since they were living in Snake’s cabin in Alaska.  
Somewhere deep down inside him felt like he should try this year, especially after what he had led Snake into a couple months ago. Snake always told him it wasn’t his fault and not beat himself up over it, but Snake had changed. Only slightly, but he had changed. 

That thought alone made Hal save everything that needed to be saved and stand up. He cracked his back and stretched his knees. When he was done he looked around their hotel room. Nothing romantic unless you counted the box of condoms and lube in Snake’s bag. He flicked the light switch, accidentally blinding himself with the bright white lights, before walking in. He looked through the cabinets, mainly empty except for a hair dryer and some spare toilet paper. He turned around and opened the cabinet within the bathroom wall. Bath bombs, most likely left by the previous occupant of the room. The thought made him cringe, but he grabbed the bag and inspected it anyway. They seemed to be by some self care brand he’d never heard of. They claimed to be stress relief and luckily hadn’t been opened. 

His burner phone vibrated, pulling his attention away from the back of the bag. He walked over to the side table it resided on and flipped it open.

_Gas station didn’t have everything we needed. Going 2 the grocery store. Don’t freak out - Dave_

_Ok, be safe - Hal_

_I Love you - Dave_

_I Love you more! - Hal_

Hal felt a little disappointed when Snake didn’t respond but he knew Snake just wanted to be fast. Probably.

He made a disappointed “ugh” sound and shook his head, dissipating all of his insecurities. Then set back into his quest of looking for things to do for Valentine’s Day. He decided to order room service. He ended up with cider, non alcoholic as Dave was working on sobriety, and the most overly chocolatey desert he could find, which was a volcano cake. Then he drew the bath, making it as hot as he could without it being boiling hot. Dropped one of the bath bombs in and while he waited, texted Snake.

_When are u coming back? - Hal_

_OMW now - Dave_

Nobody ever believed Hal when he said that Snake typed like that. To others Snake seemed like the type to text in perfect grammar; commas, periods and all. But to Hal it made perfect sense, Snake was all about efficiency and it _was_ efficient. Even if it was something small like to and 2. 

When he had come out of his own mind he realized he had put his phone down and started pacing. He looked at himself in the mirror, he had been so busy with philanthropy that he had forgotten to shave. It was nothing more than stubble, not like he could grow a full beard anyway. He touched a hand to his face, should he shave it? Did Snake even care? And while on the topic, should he shave down there too? Snake never seemed to care about hair, in fact, it seemed like Snake actually preferred hair. Always kissing his jaw whenever he didn’t shave, among other places. He ran a hand through his hair, once again dissipating all his bad thoughts. When he pulled his hand back where he could see it he saw some hairs stuck to his fingers. Not that he was balding, but that he just wasn’t brushing his hair enough. He inspected where the roots of his hair were growing a steely silver on the strands. He was unsure if he would keep up on dying his hair. It was kinda (very much) on a whim. His nagging self conscious thoughts built up until he acted out, as it always goes. 

He brushed his hands together over the small trash can and walked away from the mirror preparing to undress. He placed his glasses on the corner of the counter and slipped off his shirt, then his pants, then the rest. One he was naked there was nothing else to do but get into the bath and wait for Snake to return. He reached out for his glasses but decided against it. However, when his foot touched the water he thought about the chance that someone other than Snake would come and he wouldn’t be able to tell until it was way too late. So he reached back and grabbed his glasses, put them on and slipped into the bath. 

It wasn’t long after that, that Snake returned. 

“Hal?” He called.

“In here!” Hal answered. After some shuffling around, Snake came to the bathroom entrance. 

“You look comfy,” Snake observed.

“Mmhmm,” Hal hummed, pulling his legs towards himself, “Should join me.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Snake replied, grinning while removing his shirt. 

When he got to the tub he stopped, face changing slightly. No one else would notice but Hal did.

“Something wrong?” Hal asked, as he sat up, immediately becoming self conscious of his decisions.

“No,” Snake said, tone a lot less bothered than his face looked a minute ago. He smiled and slipped in the tub, once he was fully comfortable he leaned forward and kissed Hal’s knee. 

“What’s all this for?” Snake asked, resting his chin on Hal’s knee. 

“It’s Valentine’s Day, Dave,” Hal’s tone half teasing and half a statement. 

“Oh," Snake seemed embarrassed that he had forgotten.

For a while they sat there, just staring into each other’s eyes until Hal shifted over slightly, "Come lay next to me." Snake hesitated, but laid next to him anyway. Hal kissed his jaw and neck softly, while he wrapped his muscled arms around him.

“Isn't this nice?” Hal asked, while shifting to be on top of Dave, between his legs, still leaving kisses on his body, “we never relax anymore.“ Not that it bothered him, actually, Snake was the one all about relaxing and keeping your body balanced.

“Yeah,” Dave hummed, lifting a hand up to push some of Hal’s hair behind his ears. The new sensation of the wet ends of Hal’s hair tickling his ears wasn’t satisfying, but he didn’t care enough to fix it. They kissed softly for a couple minutes, then Hal pulled back to look at him. Dave stared back, bright blue eyes watching for what Hal was gonna do next. He was chewing his bottom lip. Something Dave did, among picking at his nails, not always out of nerve but more out of the fact that he couldn’t sit still. It seemed like whenever Dave wasn’t sleeping he always needed something to do to keep from going crazy. 

"You're so beautiful," Hal admired, cutting off his own thoughts. Dave was probably the most attractive person he knew. There was not one part of him, whether it be, psychically or personality wise he hated or would change. In fact, their personalities fit together like puzzle pieces. He couldn't help but smile at the fact that Dave and him were dating. Hal cupped a hand over Dave's face, then traced down the soft skin of his face and neck down to his chest. Traced over Dave's top surgery scars, not making a big deal out of them, it's just that Hal did truly love every inch of him. He traced a hand over his chest hair and other scars, lovingly admiring it all.

"That means so much coming from you," Dave said, wrapping his hand around the back of Hal's head to pull him into a kiss. They kissed again, just enjoying each other’s presence until a knock rang from the hotel room door. 

“Room service,” Hal announced. Dave raised an eyebrow at him as he got out of the tub. He slipped a robe on and walked to the open bathroom door, he placed a hand on the frame and looked back at Dave. “I’ll be back,” he said in a half fake flirty tone.

When he answered the door he remembered he was just in a robe and immediately felt humiliated. The older man delivering the food could probably care less, he had most likely seen far worse. That didn’t stop Hal from having a full body shiver once he shut the door though. He walked back to the bathroom, just barely catching Dave with an almost upset look in his face. He lifted up the bottle and the plate in a ta-da motion, acting as if he hadn’t seen him upset. 

“Interesting combo,” Dave teased.

“Why? Is it bad?” Hal worried placing them down on the bathroom counter. 

“No, not at all,” He reassured. Hal smiled at him then turned back the food.

“Hal?” 

“Hmm?”

“Do me a favor?”

“Mmhmm?” 

“Can you turn some music on? Doesn’t matter what kind.”

“Of course.” 

Dave watched as Hal set back out into the room. When he was out of view, he turned his head back up to the bathroom ceiling. He had slipped down farther into the water back when it was warm, but it had gotten cold from them being in it for so long. He tried not to think about what the cold water combined with the cooling porcelain on his back reminded him of. Instead, he attempted to focus on something else but it didn’t work. He was there again, back in the freezing, salty water. Being pushed by the force of the explosion, looking up into the sky at the moon as it danced through the rippling water. His breath had been knocked out of him, he was drowning now, barely conscious. His whole body was in distant pain, he felt it in his chest and his back. His head pounded and ears rang. Suddenly, a flashlight shown through the water.

“Dave?” A voice. It was faint, but urgent.

“Dave?” The voice said again, louder now and even more urgent.

“Dave!” 

He blinked. He was laying on the bathroom floor, soaking the towels underneath him. The light over the bathtub was on now. He looked up at Hal, who wore a worried expression on his face. 

“Hal,” He croaked, tears burned at the back of his eyes. He felt like an idiot who had just ruined everything, like he always did. Like he had been the whole night with his nerves shit that had happened months ago. 6 or 7 months ago in fact. 

“Dave,” Hal uttered, cupping Dave’s face, “Dave, you’re safe now.” 

For some reason this made Dave burst into tears. He felt like a coward. He had been trained to be stronger than this, and this was not his first traumatic experience either. But it was one of the few times he had heard someone say that to him, in that tone. Hal quickly scrambled to get a towel and wrap him up in it. He grabbed Dave with a death grip, and pull him close.

“Dave, you’re safe now,” Hal repeated.

“I know,” Dave whimpered. Hearing his own voice made him feel humiliated.

“I have you.”

“I know.”

“I’m not gonna leave your side.”

“I know.”

“Right now and all the time.” 

“I know.”

The last I know was a whisper. Nobody had loved and cared for him like Hal did, and even if they did they never once said they’d never leave. Because they always did. Dave started to cry into Hal’s chest again. Hal sat there with him, unmoving until Dave sat back no longer crying. Hal didn’t urgently stand up ready to move on, he just leaned back and smiled at him. Dave smiled back, albeit small and watery. 

“We should get you off the hard floor and into some warms clothes,” Hal spoke softly, pushing some of Dave’s hair away behind his ears. 

“Ok,” Dave replied.

Hal helped him up, despite the fact that he didn’t really need it. When he was up and steady, Hal reached for his towel to dry him.

“I can do it,” Dave assured, internally cringing on how much that probably hurt Hal. He wasn’t trying to push Hal away, he just wanted to do it himself. Being babied after something like that always made him feel worse. He was a grown man he can take care of himself, he’d been doing it how whole life. Hal smiled an unsure smile, and let Dave go on his way. He closed the bathroom door behind Dave, attempting to shield him from the sounds of the water being disturbed and going down the drain. Dave dried himself and put on some pajamas before slipping out on the balcony to smoke. A few moments later, Hal joined him holding the bottle and the desert. He looked unsure, like he was pushing it onto Dave.

“Looks great,” Dave smiled, trying to wrangle the situation back to a lighter topic.

“‘S still warm too,” Hal said placing it on the outdoor table before joining him. 

He expected Hal to come up behind him and wrap himself around him like he usually did but instead he stood closely next to him. Dave felt like crying again, he really did mess this whole thing up, huh. Before he could start crying again, he put out the cigarette and turned to Hal, “let’s eat.” 

Hal smiled, a genuine happy smile and they sat at the table. They ate in silence for a while, both avoiding eye contact for their own reasons. 

“Hal?” He murmured.

“Hm?” 

“This isn’t your fault, don’t beat yourself up over this.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Dave immediately regretted what he said, but it was true. He just wanted to move on and pretend it didn’t happen like he always did. But now that Hal was around he couldn’t, Hal was huge about communication. Which was a good thing, it’s just that Dave wasn’t. Nor was he good at putting his feelings, or any thoughts for that matter, into words. 

“I just. Should’ve known,” Hal said, scolding himself.

“But you didn’t, and that’s okay,” Dave replied. 

“But why didn't I? It seems so obvious”

Dave opened his mouth to speak.

Hal cut him off, “you’ve been different, it’s small but it’s different, I should’ve-“

“Who cares,” Dave emphasized. Hal did, a lot, way beyond what Dave knew. Somewhere deep down inside him felt almost angry that Hal cared, like he was pitying him or something. 

“let’s just enjoy our Valentine’s Day. You don’t even know how beyond flattered I am that you even thought of me," Dave spoke, trying to shake away his own bad thoughts.

“I’m dating you,” Hal replied.

“Yes we are, and you didn’t even ask me to be your valentine,” Dave joked, faking being hurt.

“Oh my god,” Hal laughed, “David, will you be my Valentine.”

“As long as you’re gonna be mine”

“Of course”

They laughed, enjoyed their desert then went inside. Some random 60s station was playing on the radio from earlier. Hal went to turn it off.

“Turns some lights off too, please,” Dave said crawling into the bed, closing his eyes. 

Hal did as he was told, stopping to look at the card and bag of Swedish fish on the table. 

“Dave!” Hal exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. 

Dave smiled back, eyes still closed, “I don’t know how you eat those, they’re disgusting.” 

Hal smiled, read the long heartfelt card, then climbed into Dave’s arms under the covers. He sat up onto his elbow to take off his glasses and flick off the lamp. Then cuddled back into Dave’s warm arms and chest.

“Rest,” Dave’s chest vibrated, “we have a long Valentine’s Day ahead of us later.” 

Hal felt Dave’s grin against his forehead, and a slight tug in his stomach. 

“Indeed,” he replied.


End file.
